We’ve been doing a lot of work at the house. Kitchen upgrade. Yard upgrade. Actually, at the moment, a lot of it is still in the demolition or demolished stage. The house is kind of a mess. Hopefully it’ll be put back together soon.
We’re coming up on 2 months of this work from home, shelter in place new lifestyle. For me that means still having a full-time job + 460. I would usually work 50-60 hours a week between everything. The workload hasn’t changed through all this but the output certainly has. Stay-at-home parenting with a 6, 4, and 1 year old is a full-time job requiring nearly full-time attention. That’s two full-time jobs. And let’s not even get in to schooling.
I’m empty. I’m out. I have nothing left. My mental capacity is shot. I’m exhausted when I get out of bed. I’m overwhelmed with slow and late deliveries and feel like I’m failing everyone. I still get things done and have little victories but the storm-cloud of failure is way bigger and much more in my face. It’s starting to take its’ toll on me.
I could really, really use a vacation – but how do you tell people already patient with a much-later deadline that I need to stop working altogether and push the deadline even further back just to regain some mental health?
I’m tired.
We had a lovely time with the Magleby’s and the Hillier’s today. We started out with an early dinner at Vivian Park and then took the trail all the way down to Riverwoods in Provo. Most of the time it’s a slight downhill and all the kids did great – no accidents! That’s a miracle.
About a week or so ago I finally decided to spend the whole 5 minutes it would take to remove the training wheels from Emmett’s bike. Based on how well he did on the little Strider bike and his confidence on a Razor scooter I knew his balance was fine.
After just one or two little helps to get started he was off the races and picking up 2-wheel bike riding real fast. He has no problem going off-road on the lawn, or taking small bumps and lips on the cement. He’s pretty much a natural at this point and he *loves* it. He’ll ride back and forth in front of the house several dozen times and never gets bored. There truly is a freedom discovered when a kid gets his own bike.
One year old today and just a delight to have in the family. She crawls at a crazy pace and just loves going up stairs. She always rushes over to the bottom step and then turns around to make sure we’re watching. As soon as we make eye contact she’s off in a mad dash to the top.
She recently discovered graham crackers and just devours them with a grin. She loves talking and can say “uh oh” in the right context. She recognizes her name when called. She’s just a joy to have. Her personality is really starting to shine.
Well, it’s time to stay home. I’m actually pretty excited about the idea of keeping my kids home. They drive me crazy about half the time but that’s okay because the other half of the time it’s just incredible to see them become the little people that they are. Here’s to lots of playing and laughs and movie nights!
